Yes, the Wandering Woodfords have moved again, this time to Between,
Georgia. Want directions to our new home? Going Northwest on Highway 78, turn
left at the Between Grocery. If you see Ho Hum Hollow Road, you’ve gone too
far. The roads have weird names over here: “Youth Monroe Road,” “New Hope
Church Road,” “Tipperary Circle,” “Bo Boss Road.”
Between, GA. Population three
hundred. It is half way between
Atlanta and Athens. Apparently, the Lord wants us to continue our
cross-cultural experiences of “Southern Living.” We have a lot of room and
would love for you to come for a visit next time you are headed to Atlanta.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Christmas 2011: Living in the Deep South is DIFFER'NT, ya'll
Savannah, GA.
We’ve moved to a foreign country. Trees. Trees. And More
Trees. In the West, you can see for miles and miles. For example, you can see
the Stratosphere on the Las Vegas Strip from St. George, Utah. Here, you can’t
see more than ten feet in any direction. Additionally, the streets aren’t
straight, they twist and bend and curve back around on themselves and they
change names mid-course. No purple mountain majesties immovably point East. Linus-like
I drag a ragged map everywhere I go—even to bed.
They tawk fore-ruhn. One morning we stopped at a fast food restaurant.
A muscular black man walked away from the door of the restaurant toward a lone
car. I questioned him when it would open. He said, “Potabeenia-yn.” Huh? We
were five minutes down the road before I teased: “Supposed to be nine,” out of
his single word response. We’ve met a few people that we flat can’t understand.
The cuisine is also foreign. I attended my first ever “fish
fry” in our church parking lot. Four large kettles of oil perched on low-sitting
burners in the parking lot, each nursed by a church member dropping in breaded
fish and spoonfuls of batter to make hush puppies. (They will hush your puppies
right up, because they’ll give them cardiac arrest!) I thought fried food went
out of style in the 1980’s ... I asked about organic apples at the grocery; the
produce manager explained that they don’t carry organic because, “You can’t get
these country people to eat that stuff.”
We shop at the “Piggly Wiggly.” (Now, if that name don’t
make you laugh ...) We ate boiled, I mean “ba-oiled” peanuts. Alex’s
kindergarten concert sang “Jingle Ba-yells” and Santa asked Rudolf to “gaiyde
his slei-ay tu-nait.” If you’re proper, then you always respond with “Yes,
ma’am” and “Thankyouma’am.” Corey goes crazy when Alex responds to him with,
“Yes, sir.”
Christmas 2010
Funny things the kids said or did this year:
On TV, they were comparing the popularity of the Democratic, Republican and Tea Parties. Alex says, “Poppan (grandpa) needs to be in the Coffee Party.”
...
Alex has a friend named Mac. They were playing in the basement, and I reminded them to stay in the play area before I left them alone. When I checked on them later, they were in the food storage area. Mac had flour all over his face, in his eye lashes, all over his shirt and was choking and gagging on it.
Flour was dusted all over the floor. They had been eating FLOUR by the fist-full! Later, Mac came crying upstairs, “Alex hit me.” I questioned Alex, “Did you hit Mac?” “Yes,” he admitted, “I hit him back.” They both got a time out.
Later, when Mac went home, I stopped in to let his mother know what the boys had been up to. Mac confessed to his mother, “We got in trouble.”
“Oh,” she said, “What did you do?”
Mac answered, “I hit Alex last.”
...
We were out for a walk. Alex tripped and fell on the sidewalk. After he got up he said, “I was testing my gravity skills.”
...
Alex flew a paper airplane across the chapel during the Stake President’s talk. I’d given him paper to color and he sweet-talked the lady next to us into folding it into a paper airplane. Next thing I know, it is arching gracefully across the chapel. It slid to a stop next to the Bishop’s wife. Of course, we sit in the second row from the front, so pretty much everyone saw its maiden – and final – flight.
...
We rode in a combine. What fun! Eli (19 months) kept screaming, “MAAAMmower!” (lawnmower) and gesturing wildly every time he saw the other tractor or any other piece of heavy equipment. Alex enjoyed it too.
On TV, they were comparing the popularity of the Democratic, Republican and Tea Parties. Alex says, “Poppan (grandpa) needs to be in the Coffee Party.”
...
Alex has a friend named Mac. They were playing in the basement, and I reminded them to stay in the play area before I left them alone. When I checked on them later, they were in the food storage area. Mac had flour all over his face, in his eye lashes, all over his shirt and was choking and gagging on it.
Flour was dusted all over the floor. They had been eating FLOUR by the fist-full! Later, Mac came crying upstairs, “Alex hit me.” I questioned Alex, “Did you hit Mac?” “Yes,” he admitted, “I hit him back.” They both got a time out.
Later, when Mac went home, I stopped in to let his mother know what the boys had been up to. Mac confessed to his mother, “We got in trouble.”
“Oh,” she said, “What did you do?”
Mac answered, “I hit Alex last.”
...
We were out for a walk. Alex tripped and fell on the sidewalk. After he got up he said, “I was testing my gravity skills.”
...
Alex flew a paper airplane across the chapel during the Stake President’s talk. I’d given him paper to color and he sweet-talked the lady next to us into folding it into a paper airplane. Next thing I know, it is arching gracefully across the chapel. It slid to a stop next to the Bishop’s wife. Of course, we sit in the second row from the front, so pretty much everyone saw its maiden – and final – flight.
...
We rode in a combine. What fun! Eli (19 months) kept screaming, “MAAAMmower!” (lawnmower) and gesturing wildly every time he saw the other tractor or any other piece of heavy equipment. Alex enjoyed it too.
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